Dating

There has been a lot of comment recently about dating stock here and here and it made me feel sort of wistful.

You see, I've never really been on a date.

Okay, maybe one.

I was 16 and had a huge crush on this bloke in my class who was I think 20. I fancied the pants off him and used every possible opportunity to flirt with him.

One day, it paid off. I had recently started seeing a rugby player who was a foot taller than me and twice my weight (yes, really). I was off English one day and afterwards my friend T said this man, P, had asked her if I was going out with anybody. She had got confused and said no, then realised her mistake and said maybe.

At the next English lesson, he cornered me after class and, rather embarrassedly asked if I would go out with him. Despite his peculiar behaviour, this was quite a shock and in my flummoxed state I told him I was seeing someone else. He said something like oh, okay and that was that.

Except about two weeks later, my fat rugby player dumped me rather unceremoniously and I was suddenly on the market again. But how to let P know without sounding desperate?

Well, in a small town college, news travels fast. I accidentally told Jo R-M who immediately blabbed it to P. Then one happy day, he again cornered me after English and asked the same question. I said yes. He then asked me "Do you eat?" What a line. As it happened, I had a very busy weekend so I played slightly hard to get and we arranged to meet at the Harvester the following week.

Oh, the tension. It was straight after my gymnastics class so I changed into my tightest black trousers straight afterwards (this was when I was training 8 hours a week and had visible abs. Oh the days) and met him.

I didn't really know what to order or what to say, but it all passed fairly happily. Towards the end of the meal, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said yes. Then, walking home, it was as if he'd been trying to build up the courage all day, he turned me round and kissed me.

And that was pretty much it on the dating front. After that we were together for about 20 months so weren't dating. Then there was university where apart from one guy who I met in a nightclub then arranged to meet on the seafront for fish and chips (for which he did not offer to pay) in daylight hours I did not date.

In my second year at university, I moved in with a couple of blokes including a very nice young man, let's call him HF, who I had never met before. Let's just say we hit it off without any need for "dates". And, nearly six years later, he's still here.

So I don't really get dating. And I have no idea how you go about meeting men. This means I'm of absolutely no use when my girlfriend's are having dating quandries, but also makes me rather smug and happy. Sometimes I wonder what it's like out there. But then I think, well, it's warm and lovely in here with as much cuddling and affection as I could possibly need. And the other stuff. Besides, he empties the bins.

More on that story later.