How to make a mild strain feel like you are being stabbed with hot pokers and not in a good way

I coach gymnastics for three hours pretty much every Saturday morning. As part of my general aim to be fit and the fact that I did eventually sell my car for a whopping £30 (yeah baby, I think I should invest it in blue chip stocks - if I knew what they were), I walk to and from the sports centre which takes approximately 20 minutes.

Anyway, this weekend, when I left, the sky was a bit grey but it looked alright and seemed reasonably warm, so I popped on the t-shirt I'm supposed to wear to gym (it's a horrific turqoise colour but it's an airtex so is really comfy and it says COACH on it which makes me feel important) and wandered off. I don't have an umbrella and decided against a coat as it looked okay.

A few minutes into the walk, it started drizzling, which was annoying but I didn't mind too much because it was still quite mild. Then it started raining properlty. My hair, washed and dried that very morning, started clumping together in a highly attractive fashion. Then, halfway up the great big hill I have to walk up it started absolutely pizzing it down. I was in a quandry - I was wearing a new pair of trainers (I seem to be developing a worrying habit of buying lots of shoes at the moment) which didn't seem to me to have the best grips so I didn't want to start running up the hill and fall on my face. Which I probably would do just when someone I work with walked past. But I was also getting seriously, seriously drenched.

So I just kept walking until I reached the driveway then I ran the rest of the way and amazingly didn't fall over which is just as well as there were loads of builders doing things with machines (the gym has been a building site for the best part of a year and this was the first time I saw a single builder). When I walked through the door, dripping, the man at the desk laughed at me. Nice.

Anyway, I went in and did my coaching thing. Due to various issues (pregnancy, injuries etc) only myself and one other coach were able to actually do much in the way of physical supporting and we both joked we were going to be aching the following day. Particularly when demonstrating something with one of the kids I misjudged how much they weighed and held them up for quite some time. They weren't fat or anything, just a little bigger than the ones I normally demonstrate with. I immediately knew this was a mistake.

By the end of three hours, I was finally dry and we had seen some sun through the windows so I was optimistic about my walk home. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. It pissed down the whole way home. I stopped at the shoe shop on the way home cos there was a sale on sandals. Pah, call that a sale, it was only about a fiver off £45 shoes. I got some funny looks from the shopkeepers clearly thinking I hope that wet person doesn't come in here she'll leave marks on our carpets. So I obliged and went home, grumpy and wet.

I decided what I needed most was a nice hot bath. But I wanted it right now, so I switched the water heater on and started running the water. Unfortunately, my impatience meant that I ended up bathing in lukewarm water. Probably not the best idea.

Anyway, I woke up the following morning with the worst aches in my shoulders. I decided to forego my usual spinning class in favour of whinging while shopping - I had HF massaging my shoulders at every available opportunity, to the sound of anguished yelps.

When I got home, I had an actual hot bath which was just what the doctor ordered. I still ached a bit.

It wasn't until I woke up this morning and HF had already left for work that I remembered I still had most of a tube of Deep Heat I bought when that w$%£^r ran into the back of my car back in February giving me whiplash.

I'm such a big, hairy salmon.

More on that story later.