Why do I want to be thin?

I was reading the excellent www.diet-blog.com the other day and it made some interesting points about how many people associate weight loss with a solution to all the problems in their life. This is something I believe can lead to actual obsession and eating disorders.

But it got me thinking. One of the reasons a lot of people do develop these life-threatening disorders (I believe 15 per cent of anorexics actually die although this is an old figure) is because it is the one area of life they feel they do have power over and they can control. Which, unless you have Prader-Willis syndrome or one of those funny glandular problems, is probably true. And it is something where the results of your efforts are both measurable and visible which doesn't apply to a lot of other areas of life.

So am I trying to lose weight because I feel out of control in my job/home life/ family life/social life?

No. It is just one thing on a list of to dos. But there are definite things I know that being at my pre-university weight again will help me achieve. One of my friends, one of the ones who incites me to do inappropriate gymnastics in nightclubs, said to me entirely without malice "But Frangelita, imagine how much more amazing stuff you could do if you did lose a bit of weight!"

So that's number one - be able to do the gymnastics (and now yoga) that I could do when I was younger - within reason, obviously. It's stuff like when I put all my weight on my hands in some move or other, these days it aches quite a lot - if I became stronger and lighter, it would be easier and more beneficial.

Number two - be able to comfortably cross my legs. I'm not so fat I can't cross my legs - but I have to physically hold my upper leg in place using muscular strength because it is a more extreme stretch to get over my big thighs.

Number three - be able to wear more clothes and not end every clothes shopping trip in virtual tears.

Number four - My ankles, back etc won't ache so much after a few hours/a day walking around.

Number five - my risk of contracting heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes in later life will dramatically decrease.

Number six - no more fattist comments (it's apparently okay to make jokes about people who are overweight, so sensible people like me make the joke first).

Number seven - be able to run up the three flights of stairs to work without feeling breathless afterwards.

Number eight - better skin - I know for a fact when I've been exercising my skin is in much better condition.

Number nine - More options from the kama sutra available (nuff said, my mum reads this)

Number 10 - More appreciative looks and wolf-whistles from men (you can pretend you don't want this, but really, you're lying.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the size of a house but I am definitely more lardy than Kellycat (the only blogger I know brave enough to publish their actual weight - I'm certainly not going to). And I would rather be a bit overweight than a bit underweight cos I think that looks and is worse for you. I am also quite a curvy lady - my friends once told me I had a proper hourglass figure (by this she means I have noticeable tits and an arse) and I don't want to lose that.

But for the reasons above, I'm going to carry on with the tortuous Spinning classes, continue endeavouring to follow Paul McKenna's four golden rules and continue turning down biscuits in the office (seriously, I should be awarded a medal for that one).

I just won't lose sight of the goals and limitations of slimming down. Wish me continued luck :-)